Narcissism

So I was having a tres interesting chat with Jen (she’s from the internet) the other day about our respective blogs. Jen complained that she felt her blog was far too personal and narcissistic, where I countered with the fact that I never actually talk about me, I just talk about things that I like. You may extrapolate from that what you will in this piecing together of what people reveal about themselves upon the interwebs, but in the meantime, in order to prove to Jen that I can bring the personal to the yard (in an utterly facetious manner, of course), here’s a crapload of completely personal (and ridonkulous) text messages I’ve sent to people in the past few weeks.

“So I hear she got dragged to hell. Good! The perfect man clearly deserves better (ie. us, in our mountain shack of love).”

” ooh don’t know if i’ll be able to come earlier, i’m in the middle of a star trek two-parter! spock has mutinied, i need to find out why *is a super nerd*”

“OMG HAWKEYE IS JACK’S REAL DAD!!! (just catching up on 30 rock, ignore me).”

“I ATE ALL THE CHEESE!”

“WHY IS THERE A COCK-EYED DEMENTED OWL ON THE COMPUTER DESKTOP?!!!”

“Okay, inappropriate crushes, i just developed another. I just finished watching the original MASH movie for the first time and, I say this with the utmost sincerity, young Elliott Gould was totally BANGING.”

“now i am happily imagining you driving obscenely fast in some kind of swedish supercar bellowing ‘POWER!’ because we all know that is what driving lessons with jeremy would entail.”

“Is it true that there is a point in a man’s head where if you shoot it, it will blow up? I don’t know what it is, but I ADORE hot fuzz whereas I just greatly enjoy shaun. the abscence of jessica is a sticking point, but shaun also involved the disembowelment of dylan moran, which is something i NEVER NEEDED TO SEE!”

“I never said they were GOOD, I just said they were probably vegetarian!”

Turns out I just talk to my friends about shit I like too. And abuse capslock just as much as I do here. At least I am predictable across various technological mediums.

Burblings

Tra-le-tra-lay! Here is what on my mind today!

1. Okay, so I’ve been told that The Big Bang Theory is something that I should be watching. Apparantly it speaks to nerds, a claim that I have in the past sneered severely at, as there is no way that a show created by the dude that also created Two and a Half Men speaks to my damn people. But the two times I have wandered past the TV when it has been on lately caused me to first encounter “klingon boggle”, and then “rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock”. Fuck, something that littered with Star Trek references is something I’m going to like, isn’t it? Shiiiiiiiit.

2. Reading all the press burblings from the Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince premiere (how excited are you for this movie? I AM SO GODDAMN EXCITED), all the focus on the three main stars has boiled down into “Dan Radcliffe is a PROPER ACTOR cos of all that naked theatre he did; Emma Watson is pretty and models for Burbury; Rupert Grint has swine flu.” Oh, dear me.

3. I had a dream last night that I was shopping at Marks & Sparks and had a trolley full of little tubs of trifle and copies of The Guardian. Am a little disconcerted at how content I felt after waking from this dream: the many trips to M & S to procure desserty delights and newspaper words while I was England-frolicking clearly left a giant glowing happy puff of a presence on my mind.

4. Also! I have been on the hunt for all the delightful Britishy foods that I became addicted to while away. I have found Oz suppliers for Minstrels and Irn-Bru, but a source of jaffa cakes continues to allude me, alas, for they are my favourite! And I only have three cakes left out of the billions of boxes I smuggled into the country (British people: send me jaffa cakes).

5. It is nearly Melbourne International Film Festival time! *squeeeeee* I went quite mad when tickets were released this morning. I may in fact be spending a solid week in a variety of cinemas. Eh, it’ll be worth it.

6. I am never going to get sick of having cocktails with Jen at 1806. Also I need to get over feeling less than classy for liking bourbon-based cocktails as much as I do.

7. I’m now off to watch Rachel Getting Married. I’m a bit ‘meh’ about the prospect, really, everyone I know has been bothering me the past few months with “Anne Hathaway should have won best actress, blah blah blah”, to which the Kate Winslet fan in me raises an eyebrow and drawls “Oh, really?” Hopefully it’s better than my expectations.

Risen From Zombification!

HAYLEY!? Where the hell have you been?

Jeeze, can’t someone run away to Europe for two months and use it as an excuse not to update her blog ever?

So, yes, I ain’t dead! And yes, SASS will rise once more from idleness into, well, back to hyperactive musings as soon as I get back into the swing of non-holiday life. Keep yourselves a-tuned.